Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

02 December, 2017

Definition of Intelligent Person

How to spot intelligent people:
They ask you questions. When you answer, they ask you more. When you start using big words, they ask for clarification. When they can’t understand anything you’re saying, they ask you to explain it to them as if they were a five-year-old. When you say something intriguing, they write it down in their notebook or phone. These people are not naturally more intelligent. They’re better learners which makes them more intelligent. They’re genuinely curious and ask questions from a humble standpoint. I’ve met billionaires who’ve said, “explain it to me as if I were a five-year-old.” This simple phrase has changed my life when it comes to learning. It comes back to the famous Confucius quote: “The man who asks a question is a fool for a minute, the man who does not ask is a fool for life.” As soon as you stop asking questions, you stop learning. As soon as you stop writing down ideas, you forget them. The hardest part of becoming intelligent is not lying yourself about what you know; it’s being humble enough to ask questions. If you can do this, then people will see you as intelligent, too.
- Josh Fechter

21 August, 2016

Brutal Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

Posted by Heidi Priebe
You already knew that! Didn’t you ?
Truth Hurts ! And often (Well, most of the times, we know it too), yet we choose to close our eyes. Harsh ! But trust me, It’ll help you make a better, stronger person.
1. Nobody is actually too busy to respond to you.
That guy or girl isn’t too busy to answer your text. That employer isn’t too busy to answer your email. If you’re not hearing back from someone, it’s because they have deliberately chosen not to answer you. And the sooner you stop making excuses for the people who don’t make you a priority, the sooner you can move on to the people and situations that do.

10 May, 2016

Wait till good thing

ये कहने में आसान लगता है कि हम जो चाहे वो पा सकते है। पर शायद कुछ चीज़ों में ये बात सही नही है। कभी कभी क़िस्मत नाम की कोई चीज़ होती है जो आपको बहुत पीछे या बहुत आगे ले जा सकती है।
पर कभी कभी शायद सिर्फ किस्मत को दोष देना भी बेवकूफी होगी क्योकि मैंने आज तक जिंदगी में जो देखा है, उसमे यही पाया की हमें जो कुछ आज मिल रहा है, वही हमारे नसीब में था और वही हमारे लिये सही भी था।
हमें अंत तक उस बात का आंकलन करना चाहिये कि भूत काल में जो हमने किया वो कितना हमारे लिए सही था बजाय इसके उस समय कितना गलत हुआ हमारे साथ । हमें उस बात को ध्यान में रखना चाहिए क़ि उन गलतियों को आज कैसे सुधारा जाए और बेहतर इंसान बना जाए, क्योकि अंत आपकी इंसानियत ही इस दुनिया में याद रखी जाती है।

05 May, 2016


1. Everyone have two Eyes ... But No one has the same View...
2. The most important quality of successful people is their willingness to change..
3. Human beings are very strange. They have ego of their knowledge but, they don't have knowledgeof their ego.
4. People who judge do not matter. People who matter do not judge.
5. Alphabet "O" stands for Opportunity which is absent in Yesterday" Available only once in "Today", And thrice in "Tomorrow".
6. "Pain Is Unavoidable but, Suffering Is Optional"

7. Never ignore a person who loves and cares for you, because one day you may realize that you've lost the moon while counting the stars.
8. Sometimes life doesn't give you something you want, not because you don't deserve it, butbecause you deserve more.
9. If the Road is Beautiful then, Worry About theDestination,But if the Destination is Beautiful, Then Don't Worry About The Road!
10. Only messages are not life, but .... our life should be a message to others.

10 April, 2016

Must Read Lines of the day

Today I was surfing Facebook then I got these million Dollar Lines.
So Now First of All I want to say God "Thank You God :)" 

(1). You think you're not pretty?
Someone is
wishing to be as
pretty as you...
(2). You want more money??
World 30% People
are in

(3). You want a boyfriend/girlfriend?
doesn't even
have parents..
(4). You're hungry?
A child working on chai stall is starving.
(5). You want to go to the mall?
Someone is
looking for
anything to wear just to stay warm.
(6). You just want to die?
Most people are
striving to live.

** So don't waste your time on things that you
think you don't
have, because there is always someone out
there who needs
what you have ..

25 February, 2016

वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई

🌷 वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई, 🌷🌷
🌷 बीवी के आगे माँ रद्द हो गई !🌷
🌷 बड़ी मेहनत से जिसने पाला,🌷
🌷 आज वो मोहताज हो गई !🌷
🌷 और कल की छोकरी, 🌷
🌷 तेरी सरताज हो गई !🌷
🌷 बीवी हमदर्द और माँ सरदर्द हो गई !🌷
🌷 🌷वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई.!!🌷🌷

🌷 पेट पर सुलाने वाली, 🌷
🌷 पैरों में सो रही !🌷
🌷 बीवी के लिए लिम्का,🌷
🌷 माँ पानी को रो रही !🌷
🌷 सुनता नहीं कोई, वो आवाज देते सो गई !🌷
🌷 वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई.!!🌷🌷

🌷 माँ मॉजती बर्तन, 🌷
🌷 वो सजती संवरती है !🌷
🌷 अभी निपटी ना बुढ़िया तू , 🌷
🌷 उस पर बरसती है !🌷
🌷 अरे दुनिया को आई मौत, 🌷
🌷 तेरी कहाँ गुम हो गई !🌷
🌷🌷वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई .!!🌷🌷

🌷अरे जिसकी कोख में पला, 🌷
🌷 अब उसकी छाया बुरी लगती,🌷
🌷 बैठ होण्डा पे महबूबा, 🌷
🌷 कन्धे पर हाथ जो रखती,🌷
🌷वो यादें अतीत की, 🌷
🌷 वो मोहब्बतें माँ की, सब रद्द हो गई !🌷
🌷🌷वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई .!!🌷🌷

🌷 बेबस हुई माँ अब, 🌷
🌷 दिए टुकड़ो पर पलती है,🌷
🌷अतीत को याद कर, 🌷
🌷 तेरा प्यार पाने को मचलती है !🌷
🌷 अरे मुसीबत जिसने उठाई, वो खुद मुसीबत
 हो गई !🌷
🌷 🌷वाह रे जमाने तेरी हद हो गई .!!🌷🌷

🌷 मां तो जन्नत का फूल है,🌷🌷
प्यार करना उसका उसूल है ,🌷
🌷दुनिया की मोह्ब्बत फिजूल है ,🌷
🌷 मां की हर दुआ कबूल है ,🌷
🌷 मां को नाराज करना इंसान तेरी भूल है ,🌷
🌷 मां के कदमो की मिट्टी जन्नत की धूल है ,❤️
🌷अगर अपनी मां से है प्यार तो 🌷
🌷 अपने सभी दोस्तो को सेन्ड करे वरना ,🌷
🌷 🌷ये मेसेज आपके लिये फिजूल है.🌹🌷

01 February, 2016

Some unforgettable lines

🐬 "जो भाग्य में है , वह
               भाग कर आएगा,
जो नहीं है , वह
          आकर भी भाग जाएगा...!"

 जिंदगी को इतना सिरियस लेने की जरूरत नही यारों, यहाँ से जिन्दा बचकर कोई नही जायेगा!

 एक सत्य यह है की :-
"अगर जिन्दगी इतनी अच्छी होती तो हम इस दुनिया में रोते- रोते हुए न आते.....!!

मगर एक मीठा सत्य यह भी है की :-
"अगर यह जिन्दगी बुरी होती तो जाते-जाते लोगों को रुलाकर न जाते....!!

05 September, 2015

My name will fly in INSIGHT mission to Mars

Yesterday, I have got an email from NASA which provide me a great opportunity to send my name to mission "INSIGHT mission to Mars".
This is my boarding pass issued by NASA.

Its a great fun opportunity provided by NASA because its a matter of pride that your body can't reach on mars but your name is landing on Mars.
Its a great feeling to have :)
Some will think what is big in this but i know it is big.Previously I have sent my name in Orion's test flight of Nasa.

NASA's Orion Flight test
My Previous boarding pass in NASA mission

03 September, 2015

Seemanchal Express 12487- Railway's late train

After travelling more than 12 hours to reach Delhi from Allahabad Junction twice in month, I can clearly advise you not to travel by Seemanchal Express 12487. It should be considered as one of the most late train in the history of Indian railways. You will be wondering that each train in Railways is always late but i can assure you that after travelling from seemanchal, you will hate Indian Railways forever.
Seemanchal Express

I don't know what are the reasons for 5 hours or more late trains but after passing 100 years of railways, there is still no improvement in the Railways infrastructure and quality. Indian Railways is still following the old fashioned mechanism. Every year, there is separate sanction of Railway budget but i don't know how that budget is invested so that Indian Railways can proudly say we have achieved this in railways.
I just want to request Railways to improve some infrastructure and learn something from countries like China, Korea, Japan etc. which have increased the speed train up to 600 km/h.
Please look at this video and learn something :

12 July, 2015

चालाक शिक्षक

Hello Friends

Today I am sharing a wonderful funny story but it is written in Hindi, so if you don't know Hindi then you can use Google translate [ if it really tells you the exact meaning LOL].

So here is the story :

गुरूजी विद्यालय से घर लौट रहे थे ।

रास्ते में एक नदी पड़ती थी ।

नदी पार करने लगे तो ना जाने क्या सूझा ,

एक पत्थर पर बैठ अपने झोले में से पेन और कागज निकाल अपने वेतन का  हिसाब  निकालने लगे ।


हाथ से पेन फिसला और डुबुक ….

पानी में डूब गया । गुरूजी परेशान ।

आज ही सुबह पूरे पांच रूपये खर्च कर खरीदा था ।

कातर दृष्टि से कभी इधर कभी उधर देखते ,

पानी में उतरने का प्रयास करते ,

फिर डर कर कदम खींच लेते ।

एकदम नया पेन था ,

छोड़ कर जाना भी मुनासिब न था ।


पानी में एक तेज लहर उठी ,

और साक्षात् वरुण देव सामने थे ।

गुरूजी हक्के -बक्के ।

कुल्हाड़ी वाली कहानी याद आ गई ।

वरुण देव ने कहा , ”गुरूजी, क्यूँ इतने परेशान हैं ।

प्रमोशन , तबादला , वेतनवृद्धि ,क्या चाहिए ?

गुरूजी अचकचाकर बोले , ” प्रभु ! आज ही सुबह
एक पेन खरीदा था ।

पूरे पांच रूपये का ।

देखो ढक्कन भी मेरे हाथ में है ।

यहाँ पत्थर पर बैठा लिख रहा था कि पानी में गिर गया 

प्रभु बोले , ” बस इतनी सी बात ! अभी निकाल
लाता हूँ ।”

प्रभु ने डुबकी लगाई ,

और चाँदी का एक चमचमाता पेन लेकर बाहर आ गए ।

बोले – ये है आपका पेन ?

गुरूजी बोले – ना प्रभु । मुझ गरीब को कहाँ ये
चांदी का पेन नसीब । ये मेरा नाहीं ।

प्रभु बोले – कोई नहीं , एक डुबकी और लगाता हूँ

डुबुक …..

इस बार प्रभु सोने का रत्न जडित पेन लेकर आये।

बोले – “लीजिये गुरूजी , अपना पेन ।”

गुरूजी बोले – ” क्यूँ मजाक करते हो प्रभु ।

इतना कीमती पेन और वो भी मेरा । मैं टीचर हूँ ।

थके हारे प्रभु ने कहा , ” चिंता ना करो गुरुदेव ।

अबके फाइनल डुबकी होगी ।

डुबुक …. 

बड़ी देर बाद प्रभु उपर आये ।

हाथ में गुरूजी का जेल पेन लेकर ।

बोले – ये है क्या ?

गुरूजी चिल्लाए – हाँ यही है , यही है ।

प्रभु ने कहा – आपकी इमानदारी ने मेरा दिल जीत
लिया गुरूजी ।

आप सच्चे गुरु हैं । आप ये तीनों पेन ले लो ।

गुरूजी ख़ुशी – ख़ुशी घर को चले ।

कहानी अभी बाकी है दोस्तों —

गुरूजी ने घर आते ही सारी कहानी पत्नी जी को सुनाई 

चमचमाते हुवे कीमती पेन भी दिखाए ।

पत्नी को विश्वास ना हुवा ,

बोली तुम किसी का चुरा कर लाये हो ।

बहुत समझाने पर भी जब पत्नी जी ना मानी 

तो गुरूजी उसे घटना स्थल की ओर ले चले ।

दोनों उस पत्थर पर बैठे , 

गुरूजी ने बताना शुरू किया कि कैसे – कैसे सब हुवा 

पत्नी एक एक कड़ी को किसी शातिर पुलिसिये की तरह जोड़ रही थी कि 

अचानक …….

डुबुक !!! 

पत्नी का पैर फिसला , और वो गहरे पानी में समा गई ।

गुरूजी की आँखों के आगे तारे नाचने लगे ।

ये क्या हुवा !

जोर -जोर से रोने लगे ।

तभी अचानक ……

पानी में ऊँची ऊँची लहरें उठने लगी ।

नदी का सीना चीरकर साक्षात वरुण देव प्रकट
हुवे ।

बोले – क्या हुआ गुरूजी ? अब क्यूँ रो रहे हो ?

गुरूजी ने रोते हु story प्रभु को सुनाई ।

प्रभु बोले – रोओ मत। धीरज रखो ।

मैं अभी आपकी पत्नी को निकाल कर लाता हूँ।

प्रभु ने डुबकी लगाईं ,

और …..
थोड़ी देर में

वो सनी लियोनी को लेकर प्रकट हुवे । 

बोले –गुरूजी ।

क्या यही आपकी पत्नी जी है ??

गुरूजी ने एक क्षण सोचा ,

और चिल्लाए –

हाँ यही है , यही है ।

अब चिल्लाने की बारी प्रभु की थी ।

बोले – दुष्ट मास्टर ।

टंच माल देखा तो नीयत बदल दी ।

ठहर तुझे श्राप देता हूँ ।

गुरूजी बोले – माफ़ करें प्रभु ।

मेरी कोई गलती नहीं ।

अगर मैं इसे मना करता तो आप

अगली डुबकी में प्रियंका चोपड़ा को लाते ।

मैं फिर भी मना करता तो आप मेरी पत्नी को लाते ।

फिर आप खुश होकर तीनों मुझे दे देते ।

अब आप ही बताओ भगवन , 

इस महंगाई के जमाने में 

मैं तीन – तीन बीबीयाँ कैसे पालता ।

सो सोचा , सनी से ही काम चला लूँगा ।

और इस ठंड में आप भी डुबकियां लगा लगा कर थक गये होंगे ।

जाइये विश्राम करिए । bye bye ......

छपाक … 

एक आवाज आई ।

प्रभु बेहोश होकर पानी में गिर गए थे ।

गुरूजी सनी का हाथ थामे 
सावधानीपूर्वक धीरे – धीरे नदी पार कर रहे थे ।

None of us truly wins until we all win

Today I have seen some wonderful lines which should be shared with you guys.
Hopefully You will definitely like these lines -

A beautiful story . . 

There was a farmer who grew excellent quality corn.

Every year he won the award for the best grown corn.🌽🌽🌽

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. 

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors. 

“How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?” the reporter asked. 

“Why sir,” said the farmer, “Didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. 

If my neighbours grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn.”

So is with our lives... 

Those who want to live meaningfully and well must help enrich the lives of others, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. 

And those who choose to be happy must help others find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all...

-Call it power of collectivity...

-Call it a principle of success...

-Call it a law of life.

The fact is, none of us truly wins, until we all win!!

11 July, 2015

Inspirational words from Bhagavad Geeta

Today in morning I got a whatsapp audio message from my uncle in Allahabad and he send me some wonderful lines. 
These lines are from Holy Hindu book Shree Bhagavad Geeta and in the Hindi language. The lines are so inspirational that i couldn't resist myself to share this with you.
Here is that audio uploaded in Youtube [ Some content is muted due to some copyright issues but most of the audio is audible ]

30 June, 2015

Who gives such list to download ?

Hello guys, as you know I am doing internship at IIIT-Allahabad ( if don't then no problem :P). The total duration of internship is around 3 months so i am not interested in making new friends at all. But due to some urgency, you have to talk some people.
So there is mess boy, 2-3 years younger than me, who serves the food in IIIT-Allahabad mess with his colleagues. He is having good nature and simple personality. One day he asked me to teach English to him, i was totally surprised as my own English is not that perfect till now. But I also know the fact that i could teach some basic English to him. So I will teach him English till my internship's last date.
He is also a music lover, specially old songs lover. He told me about that and ask me to download some songs for him (as he don't know how to access internet). I also agreed with  a thinking -
"There will be only some songs (around 50-60) and i can manage that with my internship work".

But then he gives me this list and I said (in my mind) : What rubbish is this ????

That is his songs list; actually its a movie list 
So he give me this list to download the songs of these movies.
I couldn't abuse him at his face but that is totally idiot because as per i know he has only 4GB memory card. And also who will download such a big list. One can download any kind of data from one source easily but to download this, you have to google and google. Some people think internet is a easy method to download any thing but they don't know all the search work is done by a human being on keyboard. Machines and technology just follow the path which is given by a human being.

So, I told him  today that i will only download 15 movies songs (zip file) and he agreed with some sorrow (But i don't care :/ ).
Now I am little bit relieved and little bit smiling on this list because it looks like a bigger project than my Internship project.